I heard a rumor about myself the other day.
It attacked my character.
It attacked my work ethic.
It wasn’t true.
I was ruthlessly defended by a dear friend who then told me about the incident.
My first reaction was shock. What they were saying couldn’t even be remotely true based purely on logistics of my very few interactions with this person.
My second reaction was a new one. Peace.
Old Kalissa would have been sent spiraling. Old Kalissa would have believed every word that was said. This would have ruined my night. I would have had a lump in my throat and a tightness in my chest for the rest of the shift. I would have wanted to call them out and prove them wrong. I would have wanted to make amends with every person who had heard this ugly rumor about me to make sure they knew “the truth.”
But instead I felt…peace. Because I know me.
I know that it isn’t true.
I know people who know me know it isn’t true.
I know my work ethic speaks for itself.
I know myself. I trust myself.
A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds.
It’s taken a LONG time to get here but I finally think I know me enough to have peace with the fact that if someone believes that ugly rumor, they don’t truly know me or the fruit that I bear.
…and its only taken me a year and a half of therapy to get here 🙂
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